I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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