You're so nebulous sometimes
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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