My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the knife in your bed.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize