Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Randomize
