quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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