Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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