dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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