my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
