But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
