after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
