Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
