no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.