What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.