Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(409): View more from Texas

Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.

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(949): View more from California

Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(805): View more from California

Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.

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(954): View more from Florida

and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner

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(707): View more from California

I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"

(248): View more from Michigan

You should've introduced yourself

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(816): View more from Missouri

Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night

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