Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Use "feeling words"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night