I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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