So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
