Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.