You work out of a Hotel?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
