too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.