I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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