Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
