We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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