Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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