you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
