I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
