dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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