sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
