you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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