I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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