In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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