Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize