I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
