im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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