I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
