That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
