i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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