just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
