If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
