it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
