Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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