this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
