I hate all girls vehemently.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
