she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We are two peas in an std pod
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
