I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
