You can't special order awesome
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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