I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Randomize
