just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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