i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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