lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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