She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
