can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
