i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i now understand why vodka
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
