Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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