Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
