You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
