I wish I only lived at night.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Randomize
