you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
