i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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