Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
