We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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