Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
