Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
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