3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
