booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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