I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
