her vagine was all disorganized.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
