You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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