the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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