I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
